Personal Statement for Allegheny College     July, 2003

As I walk into the bar, I'm only thinking of the really bad day I've had. Nothing is going the way I want. Then I stop and think about the people I am about to encounter. My so-called "problems" shy in comparison to the disabilities these people struggle with every day of their lives. It is a very humbling feeling.
The program is called Verland Equestrian Therapy and I have been volunteering in the program for about four years. Verland is a program that gives severe/profound mentally and physically handicapped adults and children the chance to ride horses. They get to interact with wonderful animals and experience movement without pain or struggle. These people have delibitating diseases that make movement of any kind painful at the very least. While on the horse, though, the animal's movement serves as a type of massage that simulates the individual's own walking and helps to tone the muscles that are so weak.<\P>

As individuals walk into the barn, they are agitated and confused, their faces full of pain. That all changes as soon as I help put them on the horses. I know I make a difference immediatly when I see their faces instantly light up and their tension disappears. They become totally different people. The individuals depend on me for support, guidance, and encouragement. Although they cannot express their opinions to me because so many of them are non-verbal, I can see excitement and sheer joy in their faces. It never ceases to amaze and touch me when I see a young man, who has never walked a step in his life, get on a horse and with my help, ride around the ring. It is a kind of freedom that cannot be appreciated by those of us who take walking for granted.

The trust these people have in hoses and in me is so complete. The individuals trust me to be there every Monday at 5:30 to help and encourage them, to physically hold them safely on the horses, and to be their friend. It's this trust that keeps me coming back week in and week out, even when I think I've had a bad day. While I know I've helped these individuals, they in return have given me so much more. The smiles that come across the faces of the children and adults are the most uplifting gift they could even give me. They always bring a smile to my face. In dealing with a wide range of severe disabilities, I have learned respect and tolerance for people who may not walk and talk the way I do. Many individuals lack the basic skills to ride a horse. Walking around the horse ring, holding the individual on the horse, and encouraging them to simply sit up and hold on has repeatedly taught me the qualities of persistence and patience. I've also learned the meaning of unconditional friendship. The individuals don't care what I look like, how well I dress, or what kind of car I drive. And I don't care if individuals throw their riding helmets at me every Monday, or if they are making annoying noises. We're friends because I want to be there and they want me there -- friendship with absolutely no strings attached.

The opportunity to volunteer at Verland continues to be a life-changing experience for me. It helps me keep my world in perspective and keeps me grounded as to what's really important in life. I'm more sensitive, patient, and less critical. I'm a better friend to those close to me. Little things don't upset me nearly as much. I truly don't "sweat the small stuff" anymore. Verland is a constant reminder to me of how truly blessed I am. Now, when I think I'm having a bad day, I think about my friends at Verland and realize that it isn't so bad after all.